So Not Gangster
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Eli Porter: Painfully awkward, and so not gangster.
So not gangster, and so completely painful.
If I see any more two-tone hairstyles I just might put this box cutter harmlessly sitting on my desk to good use.
First off, he is he clearly not “LMAO,” and being at Wal-Mart in itself makes him so not gangster
![*sigh*, Kanye. Arrogant, self-absorbed, lacking fashion sense=YES. Gangster=NO.
*Internal SMS / Memo to K-Dub’s marketing team, CC’d to HR on “why [Kanye West] fired his close friend of 3+ years and replaced him with a dude he met at a club who “happens” to be shorter than him”* [Kanye’s Lyrics***, btw]
WHO THAT QUIET JERK WHO AN INCH POINT FIVE TALLER N ME N TITE?????????
HAILZ NO, I AINT GUNZ BE THA SHAWTY IN MAH CREW TONIGHT.
“5-8” (THATS ME), N WATHAFUK—THAT AIN’T NO “SHAWTY” TO YOU, AIGHT?
NO WAY NOW HAUWWW, NO LAWLS, NU UH—WHAT WE NEED IS, *ah-ah-ah* [clears throat]
SOME “5-5” BRUVA WHO WE ROLL WIF IN CRAZY MAD STYLE TONITE
IT’S JUST SO I AIN’T THE ONE “SHAWTY” IN MY CREW—AIGHT?
[Insert highly edited Beyonce / Alicia Keys lyrics that reinforce KW’s mission statement by taking things completely out of context and using Adobe Premiere copiously]
*** by “Kanye’s Lyrics” we mean…aight, we ghostwrited some shit for you. If you down, hit us up and we roll. ONE](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_krxs8aOR0B1qa9i3to1_400.jpg)
*sigh*, Kanye. Arrogant, self-absorbed, lacking fashion sense=YES. Gangster=NO.
*Internal SMS / Memo to K-Dub’s marketing team, CC’d to HR on “why [Kanye West] fired his close friend of 3+ years and replaced him with a dude he met at a club who “happens” to be shorter than him”* [Kanye’s Lyrics***, btw]
WHO THAT QUIET JERK WHO AN INCH POINT FIVE TALLER N ME N TITE?????????
HAILZ NO, I AINT GUNZ BE THA SHAWTY IN MAH CREW TONIGHT.
“5-8” (THATS ME), N WATHAFUK—THAT AIN’T NO “SHAWTY” TO YOU, AIGHT?
NO WAY NOW HAUWWW, NO LAWLS, NU UH—WHAT WE NEED IS, *ah-ah-ah* [clears throat]
SOME “5-5” BRUVA WHO WE ROLL WIF IN CRAZY MAD STYLE TONITE
IT’S JUST SO I AIN’T THE ONE “SHAWTY” IN MY CREW—AIGHT?
[Insert highly edited Beyonce / Alicia Keys lyrics that reinforce KW’s mission statement by taking things completely out of context and using Adobe Premiere copiously]
*** by “Kanye’s Lyrics” we mean…aight, we ghostwrited some shit for you. If you down, hit us up and we roll. ONE
Well, certainly a daring fashion move, but so not gangster.
RUN, NICK! HE DON’T DO THIS SHIT FOR A LIVING. He does it for the money. Despite how semantically confusing that is, I think one should immediately recognize someone as mentally unstable and extricate oneself from barfing distance as soon as possible, for all mankind. After all, he is pounding Patron straight from the bottle.
Also, it is clear that the naked dude in shades in the back wants to use the computer next, so don’t piss that dude off with your wankery. K, thx.
HBD, MY BADASS BRUVA!!!! MAD LUV
*runs from webcam range and doubles over in laughter*
So not gangster, but so funny.
Oh dear god, my eyes!
